retirement?
I wish youth would come back, then we shall be able to play the tape again.

I seriously cannot think myself as not a girl guide, I don't feel special anymore. Joining girl guide had truely been a turning point in my life.

Form 1 - I was silent and gloomy, I have no friends , I would just wonder around the school during recess or before school, I avoid people, I don't know how to mix in. My life was SO WRONG. The only time I am happy is Saturday activities, were my kind patrol leader will lead me out of my misery. Miao Shan, I still admire her till now^^ I get lot's of friends from guides, we work as a family, it was all fun.

As each year pass by, my responsibilities became larger. There are times were I don't know how to face it, but rembering what Hui Inn say: "never be afraid, clear your mind, do things one at a time, you may be slow, but NEVER STOPS". This is the main reason why I hold on and pass my Permit, BAKP and Queen Guide. Thanks!

Girl Guide to me is like the pearl to Kino, but without the evil part la XD

I'm grateful that girl guides brought me out of my loneliness, even when I think back and reflex myself, I still lack good social skills, leadership and more. A year as an assistant Unit Leader, I don't think I have done much, I can confess that I didn't challenge myself to do my best. But then, I know I at least have done a tiny little part to deserve these precious memories, I never let go and I never will.

I find I cannot do a spontaneous talk and I'm not the kind of people who enjoys it. I prefer working behind, I am dedicated and practice having passion in everything I do. I also find I have poor eye contact, an hour of piano lesson was always stressful as it's only me and my teacher. I avoided her eyes and I think she can sense it. I don't know why. Was the eyes the most scariest part of human body? I am trying to improve on that as it is rude not to look at somebody you are conversing with.

Lastly, I had work hard to build a line of friendship other than my guiding friends - insurance?
No. I am still a human, a normal student. I want to live my life to the fullest, exposing myself to all sorts of people and situation. I want to try everything at least once in my life. Life is full of learning chances. I appreciate having a whole gang of wonderful classmates and friends.

I am fresh and ready to accept new ideas. I am open minded and strong. I have a bright road ahead.......

Updated@5:44 AM

a bit shocked.....
I might be a bit dreamy and emo lately, i don't know if it is obvious

My grandfather passed away today, and just two weeks ago, my gandmother passed away.
They always say couples go together, it's a blessing. I never knew how true is it, but for one thing that I'm sure of, there is no regrets. Both being 80+++, at least they do not need to go through endless suffering and battle against sickness for long.

My mum says there's a thinking among the Japanese. They pray to live and die in dignity. Imagine spending years in the hospital bed unable to take care of oneself, having friends and relatives going in and out. Sympathy? Empathy? Being in a mess and terrible condition. They pray for a fast death, maybe during sleep or just an accident, rather than a delay.

My grandmother dying was predictable. She already stay in the old folk's home for a year. Initially, she stays with my grandfather, we would visit them once a week, during Saturdays. She was later ammited to the hospital, UH. After two weeks, she had a city scan. Having studied the results, the doctor told us to be prepared, it was a 50-50. Before my parents can get ready to bring us to her, she pass away peacefully at the hospital. It wasn't such a big shock, we expected the worse, we just didn't expect it to happen so fast.

My gandfather... it was not at all predictable. After my grandmother passed away, my parents thought it wouldn't be such a good idea to let my grandfather stay alone in his house. Since my father already sold our house but haven't found a new house, we decided to move in to my grandfather's place. We were busy discussing about some renovation work to be done to the house. My grandfather liked the idea of us moving in. He even promised to fund the renovation work. It was for a moment, happy. I never knew my grandfather well. Moving in, though kind of uneasy, is a great way to get to know and understand each other better.

It all happened on Friday, exactly two weeks after my grandmother passed away. He had his usual walk around Jalan Petaling at noon. He bought his lunch. He then vomitted and fainted. Someone called an ambulance and sent him to the General Hospital. I went for tuition, I knew nothing. He was in coma and had a city scan, and the doctor found that he had a minor stroke a few days ago. One of the arteries in his brain burst, but he was strong enough to survive for another few days. It was just so unexpected. I cried. I didn't know why. I was scared.

The moment I saw my brother step into my tuition class, I knew it wasn't a good sign. For a few seconds, my ears are ringing with death warnings, who now? It was answered immediately. We ran for a cab, but when we reach the hospital, it was too late, my grandfather had passed away. I hated myself for not able to be there in both cases, to see them for the last time when there are alive. I think if it happens at home, nobody would know until we visit him during Saturday. By then it would be too late. I don't know why my grandfather has to leave, it was all a sudden.

I used to dislike Saturday afternoons, where I have to sit for an hour at my granparents place, sometimes talking or reading the newspaper, but mostly, doing nothing. Then I have to invent numerous reason why I have to miss overtime activities: got to go to grandparents house ma...

Now, I don't like funerals, I don't like Fridays...I might even have fobia over them~~~

Updated@7:49 AM

Hey.. I wanted to blog abt that today... the Idol thingy... what a late post rite? XD

Wow.. Ron's finally here after like 2 months i guess?

BTW to all my dear frens... we gotta think of a song.. what should it b?
Hmmm...

Anyway, good luck to us all..
Finals would be our goal.. =)

Signing off,
lynn

Updated@2:47 AM

yay!!!

we went for CHS idol today!! (:

anywayz, this is what i wrote on my blog, so that's our experience from my point of view:

Believe it or not, i joined...

CHS IDOL!!

joined in a group though, not solo... hehe...
went for the auditions today.really had fun x)

we rushed like mad to the auditions room to get a number cuz susaint was so kan cheong.
and we were the 9th team to audition.

curious to know what the judges said?? haha..
they said that we weren't very coordinated though...
BUT... they said that we have potential as a group and we have powerful voices :)

lots of people i know joined this year. it's like everyone has the same idea in mind :

Updated@7:59 AM

5S7 rocks~~~

nway, some friend of mine kena disqualify, heard they went for appeal, dun know how liao le?

wish them luck la^^

Updated@7:35 PM

hahaha...
I'm updating!
No one's been here for a while..
It's almost certified"dead"
OMG....

Anyway,
I dunno what to blog about...
hahaha....

Happy CNY guys!!!
Loads love.. <3>

Updated@8:15 AM

Friday, December 5, 2008

going desaru next week!!! finally have some time with my family, been busy with guides for the whole month...wow. now i'm free(kinda)!!!! u know wat? on the second day of my recent camp (28-30 Nov), we went to Sungai Wang as volunteers for a HIV AIDS program. we were divided to two teams, mobile(sell things and collect donation) and survey team. really learnt a lot, won't turn down volunteers without giving them a chance next time, haha. kinda miss the place so me, my friends, and some friends we met during the camp pakat together go sungai wang again for shopping, we also went to the stamp fair at berjaya times square.

people, share ur holiday plans ^^ let's guess, su saints's probarly full of study tour, library visits and tuition, wakakaka.

jiax

Updated@8:27 AM